I need some cheese

January 8, 2012 § 9 Comments

I try to be a good person; I volunteer, I recycle, I don’t fantasize too much about having the superpower to set fire to slow drivers with my mind. But some things are just not to be borne. Here I present a list of my latest gripes:

1. People who tell me to “not go to too much trouble” in terms of knitting: “why not a plain hat? Why cables on the sweater?”

Look, if I wanted simple, I’d do simple. I’m almost a quarter-century old, I have figured out by now that some things are more complicated than others. Just say if you like it or not when we look at patterns, and trust that I won’t suggest anything I wouldn’t want to make. Otherwise, if you keep implying that you’re not worthy of knitted gifts…well, I might start agreeing.

2. Related: NO ACRYLIC.

Stop suggesting it (and you know who you are!). I don’t like the stuff in general (there’s one exception, but I keep that close lest people misinterpret it as “she likes acrylic!!!”) and if I’m going to sink time into something, I want to not hate everything that is good in this world the entire time I’m working on the project. There are lots of easy-care and baby-friendly wools out there, especially in the field of superwash, many of which reside in my stash…the very stash you tell me I should knit from more. I am not breaking cold sheep to buy even the nicest acrylic.

3. Finally, I detest the stupid blinkers on the van in front of me the other day. I loathed the tempo at which they blinked at me. It was insipid and ghastly, and please driver, for all our sakes, reset it to a dignified pace. I wished for either my superpower, or at least the ability to knit while driving!

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§ 9 Responses to I need some cheese

  • Nicole says:

    I try to keep it low-key because I don’t feel like arguing with people, but I hate acrylic yarn with the fire of a thousand suns. When I had to get some to match a knit Christmas stocking I was fixing for someone, I used what I needed and gave the rest to charity. I have none in stash, and I will never stash or use any. Superwash wool is where it’s at, if washability is needed.

    My reaction to KP introducing Brava has been along the lines of, don’t make me laugh. There is no premium acrylic. Try the acrylic; it’s got a great profit margin!

    • k.m. says:

      I have a bit still lurking in my stash. Really though I have no excuse; I kept the last bits of it for charity knits and for goofy knitting/crocheting for the cats, but even my cats prefer wool. Hermione won’t steal anything but natural fibers and Kif won’t knead anything that isn’t wool or cotton. I have fiber snob cats!

      I think once I finish the toy for my best friend (she’s vegan, though now that I’ve discovered recycled wool even that partial toy might get frogged), the rest of it is getting donated.

      Also: “premium acrylic.” They SAID that? Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall!

      • Nicole says:

        Not only that, but it’s “100%” premium acrylic. Unadulterated!

        I can’t remember that I told you this before, but I love that you have a cat named Kif.

        • k.m. says:

          I was trying to find it on the website, thanks for the link. Good to know it’ll “keep up with all of life’s adventures” (snerk). I notice they don’t mention anything about softness in all their claims of “premium”-ness!

          Thanks for complimenting Kif too 🙂 We named him that because he’s jumpy as heck (and of course we’re huge Futurama fans)…though as he does like to chew on everything, perhaps Nibbler would’ve been a better choice.

  • meg says:

    I can sometimes win converts to superwash wool for babies when I explain that if introduced to a spark or flame said child will not combust into a shriveling mass of melted plastic. There is a reason why so many women wore wool skirts when working around a hearth!

    • k.m. says:

      Oooooh yes, that’s a good point about acrylic melting and sticking to everything. I tend to forget that one in my arguments for wool, but it’s such a good one. As if burns weren’t scary enough, melted plastic burns? *Shudder*

      I did point out that superwash wool has no lanolin, which I think soothed complainant #2’s worries, after I pointed out that wool allergies are really rare, and even most of those are lanolin allergies.

      Plus, handdyed sock yarn? It doesn’t get prettier than that!

    • Nicole says:

      Ooooh. That’s good. I’m filing that away for future use.

  • Beth says:

    I especially like #3.! LOL! ‘m always telling the driver in front of me to act like he/she knows how to drive!

    • k.m. says:

      Argh I know exactly what you mean, especially here in the DC area where the traffic is horrific. I sometimes wonder how some of the drivers here managed to get a license!

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